This morning I asked myself what, exactly, was the point of spending so much time obsessing about things that are wrong with my rather ordinary life. Come on, I told myself, isn’t it about time to be thankful for having two grown, healthy, employed children and an adorable granddaughter? I chose not to answer back with my usual zap of negativity.
Instead, I talked myself into facing up to the fact that since I stopped teaching freshman composition, I’ve turned my paper-marking, curriculum-developing, too-busy-to think-about-you-or-me self towards the dark side, filling up too many now-empty teaching spaces in that migraine-y head of mine with full-to-bursting closets-full of obsessing, kvetching, and moaning.
Come on, I urged myself, turn over a new leaf (after all, there are so many to choose from in both front and back yards). Let yourself fast-forward and fill each day with joy, instead of spending so much time dancing like a dervish at all those pity party orgies you seem overly addicted to.
What this means is that this heavy hitter has officially declared today, November 12, 2009, her first day of uncontested peace. That’s right - I’m going to open myself up to experiencing more love supreme and fewer I’m-gonna-get-you-sucka moments.
I’m tired of being overdue, in a rabbit stew.
3 comments:
Wow! I'm loving this new leaf. Tom would ask, "What kind of leaf?" Can you still remember the kinds of trees in the yard? Peace sounds wonderful - I think it suites you.
I can remember oak leaves, poison ivy, and pine needles. ZZZZZZZZZ. I flunked, didn't I?
Hope we're still peaceful! It's been a few days. I have a similar goal, but my sarcasm always wins. xox
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